MY EULOGY FOR MARILYN J. BERMAN

EULOGY FOR MY DEAR FRIEND MARILYN

About 37 years ago, I met Marilyn in the model of Fairhaven, a new development at that time.

It seemed we both contracted for the same lot. She thought there was going to be an argument. However looking into her beautiful blue eyes, we just chose another lot around the corner from her.

We became good friends when we moved into Birchwood Bungalow Colony waiting for our new houses to be built. Because we lived in close quarters, we became family, sharing car pools to school, vacationing and having holiday dinners together. It was thrilling watching Jenine, Stacey and Rodger grow up to become beautiful and productive people. Marilyn was always proud of her children and her children were always very caring and loving to her.

We had history together and sometimes we laughed at ourselves when we  reminisced the silly things we did.. Like the time we went to the mall, riding the escalators gabbing, going up, and going down, then going up and down again still chatting away. Like the blind leading the blind

Marilyn was determined to further her education and graduated college while her children were young. She loved her studies and discussed many of her classes with me. One special story she shared with me was from her classroom assignments . It was about a misdiagnosed autistic boy named Tibbs. I found it an excellent learning experience for anyone who read that book. I was extremely thankful to her for sharing.

During the years of our friendship, Marilyn often said to me that she hoped we remain good friends until we grew old and spend the rest of our time together in a nursing home. At that time we were in our thirties. I humored her while never giving my aging a thought. Unlike me, she always knew she would someday wind up in a nursing home.

Marilyn had a vision for her future. Perhaps watching her mother with the same illness and later her brother, she was so sure it would happen to her. And, when it did, she was so helpless with no cure in sight.

My friend Marilyn was very fortunate to live long enough to see her grown children and knowing her grandchildren. What is so great is that her grandchildren had the pleasure of knowing their wonderful grandmother. They gave her lots of Nachas and pleasure. She was very proud of all of them. Marilyn had comfort knowing that all her children had loving spouses and was proud of Itsik, Eli, and Rachael.

Most important, how lucky Marilyn was to have such a wonderful, loving and caring husband, especially to the end of her life.

Marilyn I will miss our laughs, your phone calls and your friendship. You will always be in my heart.

Rest in peace my dear friend.

HOW TO TAKE A SIMPLE TEST TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO

In my last issue I explained how the foods we eat affect our mind and bodies. It is extremely difficult for me and many others to start eliminating some of our foods, the ones we love so much. Many ignore their ill symptoms after they ate, others listen to their bodies and look for answers as to what they had that made them feel ill. They start thinking about what to eliminate from their diets

As promised I will pass on a simple test I learned from Dr Michael Schacter. After paying him hundreds of dollars testing my son for food allergies, he told me to go across the street to his health food store and buy his book Food, Mind and Mood. It was in his book that I learned how to test for foods that cause weakness to your body and your immune system that cause allergies. Too bad he did not tell me about it before I paid him all that money.

Here goes: Sit at the table with your partner and place your hand on the table. Have him place his hand over yours tightly. You try to get out of his grip as he tries to resist your strength. The idea is to know your strength before the next step. The book says afterwards to fast for a few days. We would probably be dead by then. So I suggest you fast for 24 hours. Then take a piece of food, one which you suspect you might be allergic to. Place it under your tongue. You do not have to eat it, as the food under your tongue goes into your blood stream anyway. Now place your hand on the table, having your partner place his hand over yours. Try to resist him. If you are weaker than the first time, that food is probably your culprit. If not try again the following week with another food, like bread, cheese, etc. Jut one food at a time
 
Years after my teenage son's asthma was arrested, I started to have lower back pain all the time. Heating pads became my best friend. Refusing to take drugs, I was bed ridden for days, unable to raise my pillow or get out of bed to turn off the TV. We had to purchase an electric queen size bed and a remote control TV which at that time was unpopular. When my lower back recovered, I was able to carry on with my household duties until the next attack.

One day, I accompanied my husband to see one of his clients to sign a contract. He owned a famous store on Canal street. The client told me he was heavy into drugs until he had hepatitis . His health guru friends nursed him back to health months before most hepatitis patients recovered. He became a health nut and drug free.

When he saw me in pain, he advised me to quit eating all the foods I was accustomed to. When he mentioned root, and foods I never heard of, I said 'forget it" Thus, he said, " just eliminate one food and I promise you will feel better. You see, the atmosphere stinks, the water we drink is not good, especially the foods we eat. So naturally our bodies are breaking down because we cannot resist all the toxins getting into us"

"What did I have to loose?" I said to myself. I could still eat many of my favorite foods, so I just eliminated meat. After three months the pain in my lower back went away. My friends said it would have gone away anyway, so I cheated. After having meat two nights in a row, I felt a light tinge in my lower back. It was not bad, just a warning. That was over twenty five years ago, and I never had a back ache again. Oh, yes, I can now have steak, or hamburgers but only once a month. Some times I will cheat and have it twice. My back is very forgiving. I will never push it though. My philosophy is, If I am good to my back, my back will be good to me.We made a deal and we are sticking to it

HOW THE FOODS YOU EAT AFFECT THE WAY YOU FEEL

For most of my life I have been eating foods that made me feel better.  I had no idea that those very same foods played havoc on my body later on.

My interest in food sensitivity started with my son who was an asthmatic in his early years.  Back in the early 60's most doctors did not believe nor want to believe in allergists.  But when my son begged to God to help him breath, I took him to the emergency room where they medicated him for relief.

Putting pressure on our Pediatrician to get my son to an allergist was the smartest thing we did. It was there he was tested for food sensitivity and was not allowed to eat the many pleasures that children love.  Ice cream, pizza, milk, diary products, tomatoes, oranges, and chocolate

When I sent him to sleep a way camp, I notified the camp director of his restrictions.  They could not figure out what to feed my son for lunch.  I told them they would have to get him cold cuts. 

Prior to his restrictions of those foods, he was always very irritable.  I could not understand why he was that way.  When he continued on his restricted diet, his asthma went away or was arrested as they say.  He turned to be a happy well adjusted child. Until we moved a few years later....

As soon as our furniture arrived in our new home, he started wheezing.  New to the community and not knowing anyone, I chose the nearest allergist.  I wanted to prevent another attack.  To my dismay, this guy did not believe in tests claiming that it is not the same thing as when food is digested. He said to my son, "you can eat what ever you like from now on." I was so upset, while my son was rejoicing.

Gradually he became irritable again, with massive head aches occurring often.  His asthma was still arrested, however I feared the worst that it might come back.  It was very difficult for us to live with him as he was now a very unmanageable teenager.

One day, driving in my car, listening to WOR, Carlton Fredericks, world renowned nutritionist, was speaking about a case he had.  I will never forget the scenario.  A mother called up on the air saying that her son was diagnosed as  schizophrenic. "Bring the boy to my office before you do anything.  Take his lunch and his favorite drink so I can evaluate him.  I bet it has to do with something he ate" The mother thinking it might be a waste of time and foolishness, went along with it.

On visiting with Dr Fredericks, the young boy seemed very normal and well behaved.  The Doctor was sitting at his desk while the mother and son was opposite him.  Questions were asked and a conversation began.  The boy was very well mannered and answered all the questions put to him.  The Doctor. instructed him and the mother to start eating their sandwich and Coke as it was lunch time.

They continued to chat getting the family history.  With approximately a half an hour after they finished their lunch,  the boy became cranky and wanted to go home.  "It is not time yet, we still have some more work to do" the doctor said.  The boy became very irritable and within minutes he started to have a tantrum kicking and swinging.

Dr. Carlton Fredericks said, "you see what is happening, do you see this, your son is not a schizophrenic, he is severely allergic to the coke.  Discontinue that and he will be a normal child again"

After listening, I tried to get an appointment with him for my son. I was referred to Dr. Michael Schachter MD.  who studied with Fredericks.  I knew what my son was allergic to, however because my son was a teenager, he had to see for himself  and obtain another doctor's opinion.  He was definitely in agreement about how foods affect him. He told my son to continue with his previous restricted diet.

Reflecting back when my son was an infant, he was always irritable with colic.  Then eczema broke out on his face when he was one years old. At the age of two he developed Hay Fever. Asthma followed after age three. This whole process was  food sensitivity.  The doctors never told me about this until  Dr Schacther  and  one of our allergists mentioned it to me when asthma set in. It was a shame all this could have been avoided.

In my next issue I will tell you about how to test your food sensitivity by yourself painlessly with the help of your spouse, partner or friend.

Today my son is an adult and understands how bad certain foods affect him. He continues to learn about food sensitivity and how some of the other foods contain poison which most of us unknowingly are feeding our children

Please watch this very short video especially if you are a parent

WHAT ARE THE BAD FOODS OUR CHILDREN ARE EATING

WHY MY SON'S BODY CRASHED AFTER ROSH HASHANAH DINNER

The day after our Rosh Hashanah dinner, the start of the Jewish New Year, my son asked me what ingredients were in my delicious noodle pudding because he was suffering from drowsiness and had extreme migraine headaches. "Do not take this personal " he said " I ate a lot of it and  just need to know what was in it that  made me feel that way."

Responding quickly, I told him his body was crashing from all the sugar he ate the night before. I pointed out to him the following foods he might have ate contained large amounts of sugar. The salad oil, challah bread, noodle pudding, a little honey in the brisket, soda, and of course the chocolate desserts.

After my conversation with my son, I went on the Internet to check if my answer to him was correct. I wanted to reasure myself  I used the right words for him to understand what has happened.  Along with my research was the information I put in this blog for all those who are going to cook for Yom Kippur and for all others who need to know this information for future cooking for their families

Many of us have low tolerance to certain foods. In his case he has low tolerance to sugars and other foods as well. It was a rude awakening for him as he is a very handsome, intellgent, and strong individual who is finally opening his eyes to what certain foods can do to him. Although he was very aware for years, now it is the sugar thing that invaded his low tolerance. We all take our tolerances for granted as we enjoy eating our favorite foods and desserts overlooking the consequences later.

When I was a little girl, I remember my mother lying on the couch after dinner while a whole house full of relatives watched her.  She just could not keep her eyes open after she ate dinner. Thinking she was just rude, I was unaware of her low tolerance to sugar.

Eating sugar shoots our blood sugar levels up and triggers a spike in the hormone insulin, which is needed to prep our cells to absorb the sugar. If there are no other nutrients to sustain our blood sugar level, it crashes as quickly as it rises, and we crave another hit. This is how sugar addiction begins

Excess sugar consumption also upsets the balance of intestinal flora in your digestive tract and can cause symptoms of intestinal distress such as bloating, cramping, and gas digestion. Other symptoms of sugar sensitivity are headaches, insomnia, aggression, panic attacks, irritability, mood swings, and depression. Too much sugar can deplete levels of serotonin, the neurotransmitter whose deficiency is linked to depression. What’s worse, low levels of serotonin actually trigger more sugar cravings.

Long-term sugar intolerance leads to type 2 diabetes and other complications like obesity and inflammation. Drinking more than one soda a day raises your risk of serious weight gain by 80%.

For those who were smart enough to realize what sugar did to their mind and bodies, they've turned to artificial sweeteners, Sweet n Low, Equal, Splenda and  all the rest were proven to be toxic. Some authorities say that Splenda has more in common with DDT than with food. Years ago Weight Watchers told me to take one teaspoon of sugar rather than sugar substitutes in coffee or tea.

In my research I learned of Stevia which is a herb used for over 400 years in South America and in Japan for twenty years with no side affects.The FDA has approved its use as a food supplement, but not as a food additive due to a lack of studies. Stevia can be used for anything you might use sugar in, including baking. It is naturally low in carbohydrates. You can buy Stevia at most health food stores and over the web. My friend said she recently purchased it in a local super market. Remember all sugar substitutes are toxic. Only Stevia so far has less. Studies are not finished yet.

While reading about what sugar does to us, I realized my own health issues. I have gained an enormous amount of weight during the years because I loved eating candy, especially containing chocolate . I started eating  it when I quite smoking 15 years ago. The candy was my crutch. Through the years and especially now that I am older, I found myself extremely tired all the time, requiring naps. I attributed it to getting older. Now I understand why my energy level is so low. From now on I will try to eliminate or at least minimize my intake. Thank you,  my dear son for arousing my attention on overdosing sugar.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year and an easy fast


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FAVORITISM AND SIBLING RIVALRY

Why do some siblings part ways with each other in adulthood? Why do some take each other to court using up most of their inheritance for legal fees?

Unfortunately there are a few friends of mine and some relatives who are distant from their siblings.  Some have not spoken to each other in 25 years. As an only child, I would cherish a sibling. Knowing the families of  my friends and relatives,  I came to the realization that their parents, not knowingly, were at fault in causing the friction .

Children are born innocent and have a will to love. They need the love, attention and nurturing equal to their siblings. Parents know this and have always planned on being fair and loving with all their children, equally giving them the same attention and love their children deserve.

What they did not realize was life experiences that come up every day. A parent with a disabled child for example gives more attention to him, than the healthy sibling. Although the disabled child got more attention and affection, he is still jealous of his healthy sibling. The healthy child hurts more. He lacked the love, affection and attention because the sick child needed his parents more. You would think that the healthy child understood this. In his young mind, he felt unloved, and lacked the attention. His self esteem deepens as well as his resentment to his sibling.

Children, sometimes see and hear differently. For example. When a parent is angry and yells at a child, the child does not realize he is doing anything wrong. His mind thinks that the scolding is because he is unloved.

Many years ago I took a valuable study course about how to deal with a difficult child. The program was called "PARENT STEP MODIFICATION" One of the major things I remembered from the program before scolding my child was to say " I LOVE YOU" first. I know it sounds silly, but it works. They hear those words and then they understood that even though mother or dad was scolding them, they were still loved. This is very important because it adds to their self esteem. When a child gets scolded often because of discipline problems, his self image gets worse as he becomes a teen and into adulthood.

Parental differential treatment is the degree to which parents treat each child in the family differently. Studies have found that most parents report that they have to be a different parent to each of their children (Dunn and Plomin 1990; McGuire 2002). For instance, parents often indicate that one child needs more attention compared to the siblings. This does not necessarily mean that one child is being favored over the others. Parents who love their children equally may treat them differently to help each child develop properly. Favoritism is a specific type of differential treatment; it occurs when one child receives more positive treatment (e.g., more affection or more toys) compared to his or her siblings. However this is confusing to a child way into his adulthood. The child sees differential treatment as favoritism

Studies of families in the United States and Great Britain have shown that parental differential treatment is linked to children's temperament characteristics. For instance, emotional children tend to receive more attention from their parents compared to their calmer siblings. Parents also respond to each child's age, sex, and, sometimes, position in the family (that is, birth order). For example, parents do not expect the same degree of obedience from a one-year-old child and her three-year old brother. It is considered standard for parents to react to children's unique personalities and different developmental levels.

Parental differential treatment is also associated with children's behavior problems, at least in Western societies. Children who receive more parental discipline and less parental warmth relative to their sibling have more adjustment problems compared to children in other family environments. It cannot be assumed that parental differential treatment always causes children's adjustment problems, because children who are disruptive often elicit negative parental behavior. Researchers have examined families over time; findings from these studies suggest that both the parents and the children contribute to this family dynamic (Reiss et al. 2000).

When you have children with no health issues, it is easier to concentrate on being a fair parent.
What about happy childhoods however later when a parent dies, one sibling is left more than the other? A parent may rationalize thinking one child needs more than the successful sibling.  or one child takes more care of a parent than the other.  Another problem, one child is the trustee,the other siblings are not.

So what do these adult siblings do now? How can they ever reconcile?  How can their hurt be erased. Too many years have gone by but never too late to heal.

Do the parents bring the siblings together and apologize for their unfairness?
Do they explain there was no manual on how to deal with problems of raising children?
Does the handicap sibling apologize for taking the attention away from his sibling?
Should the healthy child apologize to the handicap child for his selfishness of wanting more attention?

What suggestions can you offer to help those who are still hurting

How can siblings stop fighting?

There are many people who would love to hear your comments
Please feel free to comment below

OUR LABOR DAY WEEKEND NIGHTMARE

It was the labor day weekend we will never forget. Early in the morning we packed our car with all our camping equipment and headed to Lake George for our yearly camping trip with our young sons and our collie, Chipper. We did not plan ahead as usual because one of our sons had a cold and we did not think he would be well enough to make the trip until the last minute

When we arrived at the marina we learned all the large boats were taken.  Based on the amount of equipment we took, we had to make two trips to the campsite. But first we had to  take our rented motor  boat to the ranger station to pick our favorite campsite on Glen Island. Our preference had to be level because of our small children and not too far from the mariner. Unfortunately the rangers said all the campsites on Glen Island were full. The only safe camp site available was on Long Island, a much deeper and wider part of the lake. Reluctantly, we took it and ventured out with our map in hand to proceed to find it.

Once there, we unloaded our boat taking out our tent and food, which we purchased in Grand Union supermarket in Bolton Landing near our marina. My husband pitched our tent on the platform provided, while I set up my kitchen. I always liked to be organized and know where everything was. I looked for wood, to build a counter top for my portable gas barbecue, and work area. Being the modern camper, I made sure we had our portable toilet although a clean out house was provided, a gas stove and lantern. We took plenty of rope to tie our food up in the tree to prevent raccoons from taking it. I enjoyed playing house and setting up my hollywood kitchen.   The campsite provided a picnic table, fireplace.and a dock.

While playing house, my husband went back to the marina to bring the rest of our camping equipment which included a large screen tent around the picnic table provided. I enjoyed exploring our new campsite and meeting the surrounding campers by walking on a man made path through the woods.

Our campsite was lovely and safe. It felt like we were on a private island with no visual campers around.  Unfortunately  it was too far away from the Marina and Glen Island. Previously we always made it a point to reserve a safe campsite on our favorite  island which was Glen Island. months in advance.  Making friends with other campers on the island was fun, however we each went our own separate way with our families.
The weather was delightful. The lake looked like glass with hardly any waves. Swimming in clean water was a delight for me as I detested chlorine pools. I loved our rubber boat taking short excursions around our campsite. Every day, we took our rented boat back to the marina for a day of fun in town. There were so many theme parks and restaurants. Some times we would come home late in the dark, using our flash lights to see where we were going. It was frightening to me, but we always arrived safely at the camp site.  We usually hung a marker like an old sheet on one of the trees to identify where we were..

The long weekend was always too short, as it was time to go home. We brought some things back to our car the day before to lighten the boat for the second trip. However, we should have made two more trips, but decided to chance taking the remaining equipment and clothes with us for our final trip back to the car.

The last day started out beautiful, however as the day progressed the wind was picking up.   We heard the boat knocking against the dock from the wind. Fearing the worst, we decided to bolt quickly. I told my older son to put on his life jacket as we entered the boat. I was in the process of zipping up my 4 year old with his life jacket as the boat charged ahead.  My husband saw the white caps getting bigger as the wind progressed.  He feared the worst thinking it was not such a good idea to continue on the widest part of the lake.  He started to turn the boat around heading back to shore. Within a few minutes we were in water. All our equipment, my purse, everything was floating in the water. I felt I was dreaming and wanted someone to wake me up. Holding on to my younger son, I can still hear his young voice crying "Mommy, Mommy"

The boat turned  upside down and became very slippery as I could not hold on. Yelling for my older son who was about 7 years old, "where are you?" he excitedly said he was riding on Chipper's back who was swimming in the water. He did not understand nor was he fearful of what to expect. He thought he was on a great adventure having the time of his life.

As we .were trying to hold on to the boat, the waves were turning into larger white caps, pushing our hands off the boat, I have never seen the lake look mean and nasty. The clouds in the sky turned dark gray.  My husband and I looked at each other with disbelief that this was happening to us. I said, "this is not our end yet. We have our whole lives to live"

Where were all the other campers we wondered? It seemed everyone cleared out of the lake earlier. "Who was going to rescue us? Usually the rangers come by with their boats to check on the campers. Where were they? What was to become of us,"  we feared.

Finally, it seemed like an eternity, a man came by with his boat to help rescue us.  He was on the other side of the lake and witnessed what happened.  However he said he would not take our dog Chipper. While in the water and at the mercy of this man, we were bargaining that we would not get onto his boat unless he promised to take Chipper. He agreed, promising he would go back for him after he rescued us.

He took us to a nearby campsite and gathered whatever he could find floating in the water. He brought back our duffel bag full of clothes. One side was all wet but the  other was dry. We changed our wet clothes into dry ones, still shivering from the cold. My husband went back with the man with the boat to get Chipper. I thought for sure he drowned because we could never get Chipper in the water to teach him how to swim.. My husband helped Chipper into the boat and we were all a happy family again.

All our other equipment, tents, stoves, etc all gone. Our money, my gold watch which was supposed to be at the repair shop and never got around to do it was all lost. The insurance company would not honor our claim because the loss happened in a boat.

A man came by to offer us money to get home. He took out a wad of bills, asking if we needed $100. $200. etc. My husband said $50 would be fine. The man gave us his card, a name I will never forget. Skyos was our hero. He took us back to our Marina. Still shivering, we went to a nearby Italian restaurant for dinner and the long drive home. We quickly sent him the money he loaned us with a thank you note.  We never did figure out what caused the capsize except perhaps the plug from the boat might have loosened up.

The moral of this story is never underestimate the lake. river, ocean etc.  No matter how calm and friendly,  it could be your worst nightmare.

EULOGY FOR AN OLD FRIEND

It was the summer of year 1954 at Camp Na Sho Pa. in Bloomingburg NY. When I was 15 years old, I dormed in Alderbrook, an old farm house for CIT's (Counselor in Training). The dorm had about four rooms consisting of three girls in a room.

Little children ages two to four years old were on the second floor with four counselors. Among the little tots, was a two year old ill with Asthma. How her mother sent this child to sleep a way camp was puzzling to us. The camp mother who did not bargain for this job was with the baby most of the time. We did not have too much contact with the children in the dorm as we had teenage activities that took us away from them.

It was a day that changed my perspective of human nature and a day to be tested.  It was also a day when I first met my husband although we were strangers until a few years later.. We acquainted ourselves with our new camp friends on the first day. There was a dissatisfaction among some of the girls because one of them had a deformity, one of which was never seen before by any of us. Some of the girls refused to share their dorm with her. Some threatened to call their parents to take them home.

At first I, too, was uncomfortable, but found it fascinating watching that beautiful faced teenager applying lipstick on her lips, using her hands attached to her arms. Having no forearms, Lenore was a Thalidomide baby. When her mother was pregnant, her doctor prescribed the miracle cure for “morning sickness." The drug was also used  as a sedative to help patients sleep.  Unfortunately many doctors all over the world prescribed this drug to pregnant women.leaving many babies deformed. The drug was banned for many years until recently making it useful as a powerful cancer fighter.

Lenore warmed up to us quickly. She wasted little time being friendly.  We decided to invite her to share our room. She became one of us doing everything we did.  I could not get over how she polished her toenails perfectly. Besides being intelligent, Lenore had good typing skills, along with a cheerful and witty personality. Her good looks reminded us of Doris Day.  Whenever she walked into a room with her smiley face, the whole room lit up. Her handicap did not restrict her in anything we did as far as I can remember. She was one of us and was a lot of fun

Lenore had a lot of self confidence despite her handicap.  She wore beautiful rings on all  her fingers.  Around her wrists she wore beautiful bracelets.  Lenore was lucky, as other babies had  only one or two fingers along with deformed feet.

Through the years we separated like many of our camp friends. We all had different paths in our future. About ten years ago, Lenore found me in Florida as I had recently moved to an adult community. We got together with our husbands on several occasions and kept in touch. Lenore worked at the Bethesda Memorial hospital in Boynton Beach, Fl. in the records department. She was a dear friend and  an asset to me when my mother passed away there.

Lenore and I caught up almost fifty years of our lives with our experiences and hardships. Although handicapped, she took care of her older sister who became a drug addict, eventually placing her in a nursing home and later taking care of her burial. She took care of her aging parents until she found good  nursing homes for them and eventually handled their burials as well. How ironic, as I remember her family all too well when they came up to camp on visiting day. Her parents were very attractive,  looking like movie stars. Her older sister was prettier than her parents. I could tell then  by the way they treated her, that Lenore was a disappointment to them.  However they loved her dearly, and in the end, Lenore was the strongest of all and survived everyone..

Due to the economy and their retirement, they were forced to sell their house which was not too far from us. They moved  about three hours away.. She missed her old friends in Boynton Beach, however found a life for herself  and her husband Don,  making new friends and volunteering in a school teaching English as a second language.

Every year Lenore always called me on my birthday and I  wished her a happy birthday as well.  Her  birthday was a day after mine. This year, since I did not hear from her, I sent her a Birthday Greeting on Face Book.  When I did not see a response from her I went into her profile page to see comments of other well wishers.

Face Book is a wonderful web site. It brings old friends and families together after years  of being apart. I heard of an adopted child finding her mother on Face book, or the other way around. But who would think I would find an old friend on Face book deceased without being told first.  She passed away about 20 days prior to her birthday.   It was shocking and devastating.

Lenore, you will be missed.

For those who have never seen a Thalidomide baby