Showing posts with label DEPRESSION. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DEPRESSION. Show all posts

Monday, October 29, 2012

HOW TO SCREEN A NANNY


      It was in the 1960’s when I had the most unpleasant experiences of sleep in maids.  We did not call them nannies in those days as they took charge of the household as well as taking care of my four and six  year old sons.  It was a time when I started a new business out of necessity, as my husband was president of a newly formed public company and was hardly home.  Unlike the CEO’s of today, he hardly took home enough money to cover our expenses.  After living off our savings I was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time in the fashion jewelry and accessory industry. Young and talented, I was lucky in finding hot items to create, and hungry. With the help of two manufacture reps, I sold all over the country and needed help at home.
     Looking in the paper I noticed an advertisement for a young housekeeper who loved children and was looking for a sleep in position. The ad was placed by a Reverend from a local church for the young lady.  After speaking with him, he sounded respectable and trusting. Allowing myself to interview this young Twenty year old, I found her sweet and very eager to work for us. Anxious to get out of the house to continue with my business, she was hired that same day with a room of her own.
     At times I felt envious that our maid was wearing my apron, doing my dishes and playing with my children.  That was not the dream I had growing up, hoping one day I'd have children and play with them. Now, someone from a third world country, a stranger was in charge of my life’s possessions. While my friends and neighbors envied me, I became miserable about the situation I was in.
    My divorced father, living alone was recuperating from a heart attack in my home.  His doctor gave him strict orders not to have salt in his diet.  Giving instructions to our young maid, she promised to be careful with his diet..
    One day I came home finding my young children playing unattended in the street, my father in a rage and my maid missing.  It appeared she gave my father a meal with salt and he demanded to leave my house.  Mona, my maid, was missing all day, and I drove all over looking for her. The next day I got a call from her telling me she went to an Afro American beauty parlor to have her hair done.  The ladies there question her as to where she was from and what she did for a living.  When they heard she was a maid, they told her to quit working for us as they will get her a better job. “No young Afro American girl should be a maid” they told her. Those ladies did not give her proper advice.  Yes, they were right about her being too young to be a maid, but they should have guided her in being more responsible by not leaving young children unattended  and a sick patient in bed.  They should have taught her to first give notice before quitting.
    A month later I got a call from the ladies in the Afro American beauty parlor asking me to please take her back.  They did not realize they created a liability for themselves, as Mona was not educated nor skilled.  Having to feed and clothe her, they wanted me to take her off their hands.  I told them no way and what they did was unforgivable.  Then the Reverend called begging me to reconsider.  I never did.
    The next maid came from an agency where they screened her.  After interviewing her, she was hired on the spot.  I adored her and my children loved her as well. Since I was extremely busy with my head in my business, I did not realize the unhappiness of this new maid.  My boys came over to me telling me whenever she was in her room she cried all the time. Assuming I did something wrong, I went to her asking if I offended her in any way or caused her unhappiness.  She told me her depression was not with me but from her situation with her husband.  Although she had children with him back in the Caribbean, he took up with her friend having more babies with her.
    Only having one year of physiology 101 in college, I was very interested in the human mind.  Some depressions could be harmless while others most dangerous.  Not being properly trained and fearing for my children, I sadly had to let her go.  I took a big chance with both maids and considered myself very lucky as I hired these ladies without proper screening..  Afterall I was in my twenties with  no one to advise me how to do it correctly. It was during that time when I let the last maid go, I read in the paper about a nanny who drowned two little children in a tub for religious reasons.  It left a devastating mark in my mind and promised myself no matter how poor I was and needed to get a job to earn a living, I will never hire a nanny for that fear.  If  in the event I needed to work, I would do it from home.  That is what I did for 28 years.  My husband and I had a leasing business in our home while we had our third child.  Always home, I gave my daughter milk and cookies after school. During dinner I served my family wearing my own apron. 
    Not many young mothers are as fortunate as I was to make the same choice.  Many need to leave their babies home for long periods during the day to work.  They are now faced with the fear of this recent news of the nanny killer, Yoselyn Ortega who fatally stabbed two young children to death in the bathtub..  Young mothers need to learn more about how to screen their nannies. The problem with most young mothers are they are desperate for help and need it fast.  They use their gut feelings instead of proper screening.
    For what it’s worth here is the questioner you should  print and make many copies for future hiring.  Do not be embarrassed by these questions.  If you need to finance a car or get a job, some of these questions are asked.  If they are not answered honestly, they do not get hired.  It is your child who is relying on you to be careful.  Do not hire a nanny who is just nice.  You need more information.


NANNY APPLICATION

FIRST NAME                               LAST NAME

STREET ADDRESS                         CITY              STATE        ZIP

PREV ADDRESS                             CITY              STATE        ZIP

HOME PHONE                                CELL

SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER
GREEN CARD

MARRIED/SINGLE
NAME OF HUSBAND CONTACT NUMBER
NAME OF BOYFRIEND ADDRESS  CONTACT NUMBER

NEAREST RELATIVE
FIRST NAME                            LAST NAME                
ADDRESS                                 PHONE                RELATIONSHIP

NEAREST RELATIVE
FIRST NAME                            LAST NAME               
ADDRESS                                 PHONE               RELATIONSHIP

MEDICAL DOCTOR
FIRST NAME                   LAST NAME                PHONE NUMBER
                                                                                                               

PSYCHIATRIST 
FIRST NAME                     LAST NAME                    PHONE NUMBER

ILLNESSES DID YOU EVER HAVE (circle)
MUMPS
MEASLES
CHICKEN POX
AIDS
HEART DISEASE
THYROID
RESPIRATORY DISEASE
SEIZURES
SLEEP DISORDERS
SCHIZOPHRENIA
ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM 
DEPRESSION
MOOD SWINGS
WHERE YOU EVER SEXUALLY ABUSED?


LIST ALL MEDICATIONS

ARE YOU TAKING MIND ALTERING DRUGS YES/NO

LIST THREE OR MORE REFERENCES WHERE YOU WORKED 

REASONS FOR LEAVING

WHAT IS YOUR RELIGION  VERY /NOT VERY

DO YOU KNOW HEIMLICH MANEUVER  FOR BABIES AND CHILDREN
WHERE DID YOU LEARN IT?  CAN YOU DEMONSTRATE WITH THIS DOLL?

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE A CHILD
SLAP
HIT
SCOLD
PUNISH
OTHER
HOW DO YOU HANDLE A CRYING BABY
HOW DO YOU HANDLE A NAGGING CHILD

DEFINE YOUR REQUIREMENTS TO NANNY 

    After making reference calls, go on line looking for companies that does back ground checks.  It is worth the money and is not expensive. There is also a Nanny Personality and Risk Assessment test in addition to the above that you can obtain on line. When the Nanny is hired, make sure you have a Nanny Cam hidden in an appropriate place.
    One last advice and most important.  Find time to sit down with your nanny, asking how she is feeling, especially if she has a cold, or problems at home.  Most young mothers are only interested in news relating to their children. Some nannies are lonely with no one to talk to.  The best way to find out what is in her head or what's troubling her is conversation and showing you care.
    Good luck
 
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Saturday, January 15, 2011

WHAT ABOUT THE ELDERLY IN THIS JOB MARKET

Recently I read a blog on AOL about a young woman who was unemployed for two years. Her story won publication with AOL. The title was called The "Forgotten Woman" because she was once a CEO of a successful construction company. Now unemployed like most of us who had great businesses, jobs, and financial income. From that piece she was offered many job offers and hopefully her story will continue to have a happy ending.

There were all sorts of blogs and comments from other unemployed Americans. Some were in their twenties while others were aged in the high fifties. Although heartwarming, no one speaks about the elderly over age sixty. Those who were used to the finer lifestyle and now live in fear as to what will become of them. Some are maxed out on credit cards. Their savings have dwindled down to the minimum and God for bid they wont dare ask their kids for help, as most have their own problems

The job market is almost like a depression these days. How can a healthy elderly person find a good job? Who will hire them? Young employers do not realize the mass amount of successful experiences and knowledge an elderly person can share with his employer. The rewards are definately beneficial.

Friday, December 24, 2010

REVERSING DEMENTIA

Loosing a dear friend from Alzheimer's, watching other friends suffer from slight dementia has captured my interest to understand the disease.

Dementia is a big problem and growing every day. Ten percent of 65-year olds, 25 percent of 75-year olds, and 50 percent of 85-year olds will get Alzheimer's disease  at a cost of $60 billion a year to society. Worse, the number of people with Alzheimer's is predicted to triple in the next few decades. It is now the seventh leading cause of death.

From what I understood, genics, drugs and stress had an important role in memory loss and confusion.  Drugs play an important role in how we think, feel, react, and deal with emotions.

When we visit our physicians, the first thing they ask is "How do you feel?" If you answered you had a headache,  he would say "take this pill", if you cannot sleep, "take this pill", If you are tired, "take a pill." If you have anxieties, "take this pill"  and so on. The pharmaceutical companies are thriving.

Do we ever wonder why there are so many car accidents on the road?  How many times do you see direction signals of cars that were not supposed to be on.  Lights on cars during early evenings that were off.  People driving the wrong way and so on.  Approximately 80% of all of them are on medication for one reason or another.  Either too much or too little is the culprit.

Seniors all fear the aging process. Most believe it is genetic. But there is another way to think about brain aging. The brain responds to all the same insults as the rest of the body. Those are; stress, poor diet, toxins ingested or environmental,  lack of exercise or sleep, nutritional deficiencies, underactive thyroid, inflammation,  deficiencies of hormones, vitamins, and omega-3 fats.

From my research I have learned that all we have to do is give the brain a tune-up and we can see miracles says Dr. Mark Hyman, respected medical consultant, New York Times -bestselling author, lecturer, and practicing physician

This is the time when personalized medicine will replace medicine based on diagnosis and disease.

So if you know someone with memory loss, have a good qualified doctor look at all the imbalances that are present and how to fix them. Remember, there will be no one treatment that works for everyone, because everyone is different. But here are some things to think about if you or a loved one are experiencing memory loss or dementia. If all of the above fail, then x-ray, cat scans and other testing should be addressed. If your doctor talks you out of the above, go find another, or call Dr. Hyman. ( I have never met or spoken with him, just researched on Google)

• Pre-diabetes or metabolic syndrome
Low thyroid function
• Depression
• Deficiencies in B vitamins, especially vitamin B12
• Omega-3 fat deficiencies
• Mercury or other heavy metal toxicity
• Vitamin D deficiency
• High cholesterol
• Unique genes that predispose you to nutritional
   or detoxification problems

Sometimes a subtle change in a persons health could explain reverse dementia. Once you identify the underlying causes of the imbalance, here are a few things that can help your mind get a tune-up:

1. Balance your blood sugar with a whole foods,
    low glycemic diet
2. Exercise daily -- even a 30-minute walk can help
3. Do yoga, deep breathing  exercises        
4. Take a multivitamin and mineral supplement
5. Take an omega-3 fat supplement
6. Take extra vitamin B6, B12, and folate
7. Take vitamin D

As we approach the New Year, we have a lot to look forward to. This is just a start, but it can go a long way to giving your brain the chance to heal and recover if you have memory problems. Even if you aren't suffering from cognitive decline, you should take these steps because they can help you prevent the aging of your brain and obtain lifelong health.

I want to wish our friends and families who celebrate Christmas, A Very Healthy and Joyful Holiday


EMAIL: iris@pushthewheel.com




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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

HOW THE FOODS YOU EAT AFFECT THE WAY YOU FEEL

For most of my life I have been eating foods that made me feel better.  I had no idea that those very same foods played havoc on my body later on.

My interest in food sensitivity started with my son who was an asthmatic in his early years.  Back in the early 60's most doctors did not believe nor want to believe in allergists.  But when my son begged to God to help him breath, I took him to the emergency room where they medicated him for relief.

Putting pressure on our Pediatrician to get my son to an allergist was the smartest thing we did. It was there he was tested for food sensitivity and was not allowed to eat the many pleasures that children love.  Ice cream, pizza, milk, diary products, tomatoes, oranges, and chocolate

When I sent him to sleep a way camp, I notified the camp director of his restrictions.  They could not figure out what to feed my son for lunch.  I told them they would have to get him cold cuts. 

Prior to his restrictions of those foods, he was always very irritable.  I could not understand why he was that way.  When he continued on his restricted diet, his asthma went away or was arrested as they say.  He turned to be a happy well adjusted child. Until we moved a few years later....

As soon as our furniture arrived in our new home, he started wheezing.  New to the community and not knowing anyone, I chose the nearest allergist.  I wanted to prevent another attack.  To my dismay, this guy did not believe in tests claiming that it is not the same thing as when food is digested. He said to my son, "you can eat what ever you like from now on." I was so upset, while my son was rejoicing.

Gradually he became irritable again, with massive head aches occurring often.  His asthma was still arrested, however I feared the worst that it might come back.  It was very difficult for us to live with him as he was now a very unmanageable teenager.

One day, driving in my car, listening to WOR, Carlton Fredericks, world renowned nutritionist, was speaking about a case he had.  I will never forget the scenario.  A mother called up on the air saying that her son was diagnosed as  schizophrenic. "Bring the boy to my office before you do anything.  Take his lunch and his favorite drink so I can evaluate him.  I bet it has to do with something he ate" The mother thinking it might be a waste of time and foolishness, went along with it.

On visiting with Dr Fredericks, the young boy seemed very normal and well behaved.  The Doctor was sitting at his desk while the mother and son was opposite him.  Questions were asked and a conversation began.  The boy was very well mannered and answered all the questions put to him.  The Doctor. instructed him and the mother to start eating their sandwich and Coke as it was lunch time.

They continued to chat getting the family history.  With approximately a half an hour after they finished their lunch,  the boy became cranky and wanted to go home.  "It is not time yet, we still have some more work to do" the doctor said.  The boy became very irritable and within minutes he started to have a tantrum kicking and swinging.

Dr. Carlton Fredericks said, "you see what is happening, do you see this, your son is not a schizophrenic, he is severely allergic to the coke.  Discontinue that and he will be a normal child again"

After listening, I tried to get an appointment with him for my son. I was referred to Dr. Michael Schachter MD.  who studied with Fredericks.  I knew what my son was allergic to, however because my son was a teenager, he had to see for himself  and obtain another doctor's opinion.  He was definitely in agreement about how foods affect him. He told my son to continue with his previous restricted diet.

Reflecting back when my son was an infant, he was always irritable with colic.  Then eczema broke out on his face when he was one years old. At the age of two he developed Hay Fever. Asthma followed after age three. This whole process was  food sensitivity.  The doctors never told me about this until  Dr Schacther  and  one of our allergists mentioned it to me when asthma set in. It was a shame all this could have been avoided.

In my next issue I will tell you about how to test your food sensitivity by yourself painlessly with the help of your spouse, partner or friend.

Today my son is an adult and understands how bad certain foods affect him. He continues to learn about food sensitivity and how some of the other foods contain poison which most of us unknowingly are feeding our children

Please watch this very short video especially if you are a parent

WHAT ARE THE BAD FOODS OUR CHILDREN ARE EATING