Showing posts with label RELATIONSHIPS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RELATIONSHIPS. Show all posts

Friday, August 6, 2010

EULOGY FOR AN OLD FRIEND

It was the summer of year 1954 at Camp Na Sho Pa. in Bloomingburg NY. When I was 15 years old, I dormed in Alderbrook, an old farm house for CIT's (Counselor in Training). The dorm had about four rooms consisting of three girls in a room.

Little children ages two to four years old were on the second floor with four counselors. Among the little tots, was a two year old ill with Asthma. How her mother sent this child to sleep a way camp was puzzling to us. The camp mother who did not bargain for this job was with the baby most of the time. We did not have too much contact with the children in the dorm as we had teenage activities that took us away from them.

It was a day that changed my perspective of human nature and a day to be tested.  It was also a day when I first met my husband although we were strangers until a few years later.. We acquainted ourselves with our new camp friends on the first day. There was a dissatisfaction among some of the girls because one of them had a deformity, one of which was never seen before by any of us. Some of the girls refused to share their dorm with her. Some threatened to call their parents to take them home.

At first I, too, was uncomfortable, but found it fascinating watching that beautiful faced teenager applying lipstick on her lips, using her hands attached to her arms. Having no forearms, Lenore was a Thalidomide baby. When her mother was pregnant, her doctor prescribed the miracle cure for “morning sickness." The drug was also used  as a sedative to help patients sleep.  Unfortunately many doctors all over the world prescribed this drug to pregnant women.leaving many babies deformed. The drug was banned for many years until recently making it useful as a powerful cancer fighter.

Lenore warmed up to us quickly. She wasted little time being friendly.  We decided to invite her to share our room. She became one of us doing everything we did.  I could not get over how she polished her toenails perfectly. Besides being intelligent, Lenore had good typing skills, along with a cheerful and witty personality. Her good looks reminded us of Doris Day.  Whenever she walked into a room with her smiley face, the whole room lit up. Her handicap did not restrict her in anything we did as far as I can remember. She was one of us and was a lot of fun

Lenore had a lot of self confidence despite her handicap.  She wore beautiful rings on all  her fingers.  Around her wrists she wore beautiful bracelets.  Lenore was lucky, as other babies had  only one or two fingers along with deformed feet.
Through the years we separated like many of our camp friends. We all had different paths in our future. About ten years ago, Lenore found me in Florida as I had recently moved to an adult community. We got together with our husbands on several occasions and kept in touch. Lenore worked at the Bethesda Memorial hospital in Boynton Beach, Fl. in the records department. She was a dear friend and  an asset to me when my mother passed away there.

Lenore and I caught up almost fifty years of our lives with our experiences and hardships. Although handicapped, she took care of her older sister who became a drug addict, eventually placing her in a nursing home and later taking care of her burial. She took care of her aging parents until she found good  nursing homes for them and eventually handled their burials as well. How ironic, as I remember her family all too well when they came up to camp on visiting day. Her parents were very attractive,  looking like movie stars. Her older sister was prettier than her parents. I could tell then  by the way they treated her, that Lenore was a disappointment to them.  However they loved her dearly, and in the end, Lenore was the strongest of all and survived everyone..

Due to the economy and their retirement, they were forced to sell their house which was not too far from us. They moved  about three hours away.. She missed her old friends in Boynton Beach, however found a life for herself  and her husband Don,  making new friends and volunteering in a school teaching English as a second language.

Every year Lenore always called me on my birthday and I  wished her a happy birthday as well.  Her  birthday was a day after mine. This year, since I did not hear from her, I sent her a Birthday Greeting on Face Book.  When I did not see a response from her I went into her profile page to see comments of other well wishers.

Face Book is a wonderful web site. It brings old friends and families together after years  of being apart. I heard of an adopted child finding her mother on Face book, or the other way around. But who would think I would find an old friend on Face book deceased without being told first.  She passed away about 20 days prior to her birthday.   It was shocking and devastating.

Lenore, you will be missed.

For those who have never seen a Thalidomide baby

Monday, January 4, 2010

THE WONDERS OF FACE BOOK

Face book is a great place to find old friends and acquaintances.  If you want to be found, that is.  Old classmates found me, however some were not recognizable until I went into my year book.

Sometimes I reflect back to when neighboring children played with our children in our yard.  Wondering what they look like today caught my curiosity.  As I typed their name in the search box, I anxiously waited to see their picture. "Could this be, the cute little girl with the big brown eyes that dominated her little face?" My, she is a grown woman, looking completely different today.  I never would have recognized her.  Yet others maintained the same face, only they are older and a little heavier than when they were children.  It was thrilling looking into their friends pictures seeing how much they have grown with children of their own.

What is more amazing was a name I recognized from my community address book.  It was quite unusual and one that would be remembered.  When glancing on Face book, I noticed my cousin married a woman with the same maiden name as my neighbor.  After emailing both, neither knew each other.  But a little while later both were face book friends.  Is that called a Shidoch? (Yiddish)

I have become a little addicted as I am with my emails.  I enjoy going into my home page to read about our grandchildren, if they are having a good day, or what ever is on their mind.  It keeps me up to speed on what they are thinking.  Once when speaking with my daughter on the phone, we chatted for hours.  Yet on Face book she spoke of things she forgot to tell me.  How wonderful is that!

Yet other news of my Face book friends can be eliminated if the content annoys me, yet they will still remain on my friend list. It has never been that bad where I had to block anyone.

There is still one more person to find.  An old neighbor and friend since childhood and one whom I loved.  Her name is Gloria Kaufman, an alumni  of Berkeley and I would like to know if she is okay.

Do you have any interesting stories about your Face book experiences?  Are you looking for someone too? Please comment below.
 
More about Face book and the most sorrowful and alarming news I have yet to report in my next issue.






Saturday, August 15, 2009

PUSH THE WHEEL

PUSH THE WHEEL

August 14th, 2009
BLOG 1
I remember a movie I watched when I was a little girl. I would like you to research it. It was a movie I think older than me. It was about a prison camp or mental hospital. The patients were in a dungeon about 12 of them pushing a wheel all day long going nowhere. There were others laying on the floor exhausted pushing the wheel. How can we find the name of that movie?
I said to myself as a young child.. “what a waste and time doing nothing and getting nothing accomplished but wearing themselves out.”
As I observed life and people, I took note of how people work. Some were very successful but were workaholics. They pushed the wheel and saw success, however they lost their relationships with families because they were too busy PUSHING THE WHEEL.
For students it is the same wheel. They study, study for fear of low grades. They fear they wont be accepted into schools or societies. For them they are afraid of diversion like sports, theatre or other hobbies. Some kids take medication so they can perform better at the wheel. Do these kids burn out? Do people burn out? Sometimes, maybe never. Some do better by adding other activities in their life to avoid the burnout and perhaps help them perform better, thinking better and so on
Others, however, PUSH THE WHEEL for the same reasons, to gain success and do what they know best. They pushed and pushed, while indeed keeping their relationships with family and friends. In this case nothing ever happens. They run into debt, their savings are depleted. They are tired of pushing, and fear the worst.
As for students the same thing applies. They study hard and see little success. They try diversions but still the fear of failure. Thus the burnout starts. Perhaps school is not for them. Perhaps it is a waste of time. PUSHING THE WHEEL is a waste one might think. But in this case PUSHING THE WHEEL can be a challenge. They are young enough not to waste time. They have a goal and that wheel is very important. Without that push there is no goal. With no goal there is no push.
In this blog, we shall discover ways to overcome the fear and start pushing in different directions that will make us happy.
Do you PUSH THE WHEEL? Tell us your thoughts