HOW TO SCREEN A NANNY

      It was in the 1960’s when I had the most unpleasant experiences of sleep in maids.  We did not call them nannies in those days as they took charge of the household as well as taking care of my four and six  year old sons.  It was a time when I started a new business out of necessity, as my husband was president of a newly formed public company and was hardly home.  Unlike the CEO’s of today, he hardly took home enough money to cover our expenses.  After living off our savings I was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time in the fashion jewelry and accessory industry. Young and talented, I was lucky in finding hot items to create, and hungry. With the help of two manufacture reps, I sold all over the country and needed help at home.

     Looking in the paper I noticed an advertisement for a young housekeeper who loved children and was looking for a sleep in position. The ad was placed by a Reverend from a local church for the young lady.  After speaking with him, he sounded respectable and trusting. Allowing myself to interview this young Twenty year old, I found her sweet and very eager to work for us. Anxious to get out of the house to continue with my business, she was hired that same day with a room of her own.

     At times I felt envious that our maid was wearing my apron, doing my dishes and playing with my children.  That was not the dream I had growing up, hoping one day I'd have children and play with them. Now, someone from a third world country, a stranger was in charge of my life’s possessions. While my friends and neighbors envied me, I became miserable about the situation I was in.

    My divorced father, living alone was recuperating from a heart attack in my home.  His doctor gave him strict orders not to have salt in his diet.  Giving instructions to our young maid, she promised to be careful with his diet..

    One day I came home finding my young children playing unattended in the street, my father in a rage and my maid missing.  It appeared she gave my father a meal with salt and he demanded to leave my house.  Mona, my maid, was missing all day, and I drove all over looking for her. The next day I got a call from her telling me she went to an Afro American beauty parlor to have her hair done.  The ladies there question her as to where she was from and what she did for a living.  When they heard she was a maid, they told her to quit working for us as they will get her a better job. “No young Afro American girl should be a maid” they told her. Those ladies did not give her proper advice.  Yes, they were right about her being too young to be a maid, but they should have guided her in being more responsible by not leaving young children unattended  and a sick patient in bed.  They should have taught her to first give notice before quitting.

    A month later I got a call from the ladies in the Afro American beauty parlor asking me to please take her back.  They did not realize they created a liability for themselves, as Mona was not educated nor skilled.  Having to feed and clothe her, they wanted me to take her off their hands.  I told them no way and what they did was unforgivable.  Then the Reverend called begging me to reconsider.  I never did.

    The next maid came from an agency where they screened her.  After interviewing her, she was hired on the spot.  I adored her and my children loved her as well. Since I was extremely busy with my head in my business, I did not realize the unhappiness of this new maid.  My boys came over to me telling me whenever she was in her room she cried all the time. Assuming I did something wrong, I went to her asking if I offended her in any way or caused her unhappiness.  She told me her depression was not with me but from her situation with her husband.  Although she had children with him back in the Caribbean, he took up with her friend having more babies with her.

    Only having one year of physiology 101 in college, I was very interested in the human mind.  Some depressions could be harmless while others most dangerous.  Not being properly trained and fearing for my children, I sadly had to let her go.  I took a big chance with both maids and considered myself very lucky as I hired these ladies without proper screening..  Afterall I was in my twenties with  no one to advise me how to do it correctly. It was during that time when I let the last maid go, I read in the paper about a nanny who drowned two little children in a tub for religious reasons.  It left a devastating mark in my mind and promised myself no matter how poor I was and needed to get a job to earn a living, I will never hire a nanny for that fear.  If  in the event I needed to work, I would do it from home.  That is what I did for 28 years.  My husband and I had a leasing business in our home while we had our third child.  Always home, I gave my daughter milk and cookies after school. During dinner I served my family wearing my own apron. 

    Not many young mothers are as fortunate as I was to make the same choice.  Many need to leave their babies home for long periods during the day to work.  They are now faced with the fear of this recent news of the nanny killer, Yoselyn Ortega who fatally stabbed two young children to death in the bathtub..  Young mothers need to learn more about how to screen their nannies. The problem with most young mothers are they are desperate for help and need it fast.  They use their gut feelings instead of proper screening.
    For what it’s worth here is the questioner you should  print and make many copies for future hiring.  Do not be embarrassed by these questions.  If you need to finance a car or get a job, some of these questions are asked.  If they are not answered honestly, they do not get hired.  It is your child who is relying on you to be careful.  Do not hire a nanny who is just nice.  You need more information.

NANNY APPLICATION

FIRST NAME                               LAST NAME

STREET ADDRESS                         CITY              STATE        ZIP

PREV ADDRESS                             CITY              STATE        ZIP

HOME PHONE                                CELL

SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER

GREEN CARD

MARRIED/SINGLE

NAME OF HUSBAND CONTACT NUMBER

NAME OF BOYFRIEND ADDRESS  CONTACT NUMBER

NEAREST RELATIVE

FIRST NAME                            LAST NAME                

ADDRESS                                 PHONE                RELATIONSHIP

NEAREST RELATIVE

FIRST NAME                            LAST NAME               

ADDRESS                                 PHONE               RELATIONSHIP

MEDICAL DOCTOR

FIRST NAME                   LAST NAME                PHONE NUMBER

                                                                                                               

PSYCHIATRIST 

FIRST NAME                     LAST NAME                    PHONE NUMBER

ILLNESSES DID YOU EVER HAVE (circle)

MUMPS

MEASLES

CHICKEN POX

AIDS

HEART DISEASE

THYROID

RESPIRATORY DISEASE

SEIZURES

SLEEP DISORDERS

SCHIZOPHRENIA

ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM 

DEPRESSION

MOOD SWINGS

WHERE YOU EVER SEXUALLY ABUSED?

LIST ALL MEDICATIONS

ARE YOU TAKING MIND ALTERING DRUGS YES/NO

LIST THREE OR MORE REFERENCES WHERE YOU WORKED 

REASONS FOR LEAVING

WHAT IS YOUR RELIGION  VERY /NOT VERY

DO YOU KNOW HEIMLICH MANEUVER  FOR BABIES AND CHILDREN
WHERE DID YOU LEARN IT?  CAN YOU DEMONSTRATE WITH THIS DOLL?

HOW DO YOU DISCIPLINE A CHILD

SLAP

HIT

SCOLD

PUNISH
OTHER

HOW DO YOU HANDLE A CRYING BABY

HOW DO YOU HANDLE A NAGGING CHILD

DEFINE YOUR REQUIREMENTS TO NANNY 

    After making reference calls, go on line looking for companies that does back ground checks.  It is worth the money and is not expensive. There is also a Nanny Personality and Risk Assessment test in addition to the above that you can obtain on line. When the Nanny is hired, make sure you have a Nanny Cam hidden in an appropriate place.

    One last advice and most important.  Find time to sit down with your nanny, asking how she is feeling, especially if she has a cold, or problems at home.  Most young mothers are only interested in news relating to their children. Some nannies are lonely with no one to talk to.  The best way to find out what is in her head or what's troubling her is conversation and showing you care.
    Good luck
 

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Thalidomide Dilemma

 Why I am outraged at the pharmaceutical companies.  It all started 57 years ago when I met a Thalidomide friend. After telling me her mother took the prescribed drug for morning sickness and anxieties, I wondered why the doctors did not protect her.

There are many parents today who are taking their young children to doctors for prescription drugs to help them grow taller, make them more alert, calm them down, make them sleep better, perform better in sports, schools, etc.  The nice doctors oblige but hardly give the parents the side effects. Most important, they honestly do not know the long term results of those drugs.  Still they administer them. And that is my case for this issue

In my friend’s memory I wrote a eulogy August 2010 on my web site:  www.pushthewheel.com.  It mentions her plus a video showing children who were affected.

If one would look up Thalidomide they would read as follows: Thalidomide is a sedative drug introduced in the late 1950s that was used to treat morning sickness and aid sleep. It was sold from 1957 until 1961, when it was withdrawn after being found to be a cause of birth defects. Since my friend was born July, 1939 one would say the above information was untrue.

Thalidomide was launched by Grünenthal on 1 October 1957.  It was effective as a tranquilizer and painkiller, and was proclaimed a "wonder drug" for insomnia, coughs, colds and headaches. It was also good for pregnant women who had morning sickness. So my question is how did they know, (the medical profession) if the drug harmed them or their children afterwards. Wasn’t there research out there then? At the time of the drug's development, scientists did not believe any drug taken by a pregnant woman could pass across the placental barrier and harm the fetus.

Grunenthal has claimed to have lost documents relating to drug trials but Dr Johnson said its 1954 patent for Thalidomide indicated it had already been tested on humans before official tests began. Isn’t that interesting how all those formulas and documents got lost? It was noted that the drug was being tested and marketed in Germany in the early 1900 as an insecticide and found it did dangerous things.

An Australian class action law suit led my Lynette Rowe, a Thalidomide victim, was settled July 17, 2012, it was believed to be in the millions of dollars and paving the way for class action victims to receive further compensation.

Argentinian author Carlos De Napoli says he has discovered a November 1944 document from German pharmaceutical company IG Farben which refers to a substance with the same chemical formula as Thalidomide. In his book Hitler's Laboratories, he states company director Fritz ter Meer sent a memo to Karl Brandt, an SS general who ran Hitler's euthanasia programme.

The memo refers to the drug by a number - 4589 - and adds it has been tested and is ready for use. “There is absolutely no doubt of the Nazi development of, and experimentation with, thalidomide in the World War Two camps,' he said.

But documents unearthed by Dr Martin Johnson, director of the Thalidomide Trust, suggest it was created as a antidote to nerve toxins including sarin and was developed by Otto Ambros, a Third Reich scientist. Dr Johnson claims the drug was worked on by Ambros before he went to Grunenthal after the war.

'It is now appearing increasingly likely that thalidomide was the last war crime of the Nazis,' Dr Johnson said

.

The company insists it was invented in 1953 but a document suggests it had previously purchased the trade name Contergan, and therefore presumably the drug, from a French firm which had been controlled by the Nazis.

He concludes in a report: "The patents suggest that thalidomide was probably one of a number of products developed at [chemical laboratory] Dyhernfurth or Auschwitz-Monowitz [a synthetic rubber and petrol processing plant which used labour from concentration camps] under the leadership of Otto Ambros in the course of nerve gas research."

Recently it was just published in the Palm Beach Post that Germany apologized to all surviving Thalidomide victims.  Sorry, that just won’t do. There should be more pressures to the various countries especially Germany to compensate all Thalidomide survivors and their heirs. An Apology is simply not enough